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About Literature / Hobbyist JeremyMale/United States Group :iconhammerfallband: HammerFallBand
Hail Hammerfall!
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Deviant for 9 Years
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deviantID

Xeronik
Jeremy
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
time to revamp my bio again...

i'm big into music, i try to write lyrics from time to time, i keep my collection of which on this site. i play guitar and have been trying to compose music to go with my many lyrics, but my lyrics greatly outnumber my compositions. i'm mostly into subgenres of rock, metal, and punk, but i find i can like at least one band from almost any style. i'm not on this site very often anymore, but i still come on once in a while for different reasons, like posting something new, or looking for cool art or cosplay. that's about it i suppose.
Interests

Journal History

the only things that inspire me to write are either satires of things, or my unending misery or moments of impulsive anger, and with this in mind, i feel like i lost the will to even writing anymore, i'm a broken record, and hell, i've even used that as a theme for my writing as well, so what's left?  when i am a person with no new progress in life to write poems or lyrics about, and i don't feel fueled to write about extroverted topics...

i mean, i could write everyday of how i'm a human waste, that i'm a leech on society and my friends and family, that i'm lazy and lack drive and seems like i'm only existing because i don't want to not exist, otherwise i have no point in living really, but due to stubbornness, i continue each day out in habit...

my fantasies of being a renown musician is pretty much as much of a struggling idea as a turtle wanting to be an olympic runner, it's been almost a decade since i owned a guitar, and i only composed one instrumental track, and i only have a handful of other riffs figured out, and plus i've written so many lyrics impulsively about specific situations, i can't even stand looking at most of them anymore, they are mere staples of a period of time for me, i can't use them for music...

this is all very difficult, and above all things, my past delusions of "soul-mates" pretty much died a couple years ago, even so, i feel that emptiness is still there, i hate seeing other couples, i try to be happy for them, but my deep hidden envy hates it, it's selfish, but i can't help this feeling, and yet, as much as i hate seeing it, i have to see it, i have to see others happy, i have to see those couples do well, i become vicarious, so as much as i am jealous or envious, i know that they deserve the love they share, and i will just be an empty shell trying to enjoy something i'll never have, through the souls of others...

~sigh~ i miss having creativity, i was a Dungeon Master/Game Master for a Pathfinder campaign i improvised off of Rhapsody Of Fire's Enchanted Lands, but that all went to hell when one of my players got caught smoking weed by his parents, which the blame was wrongfully put on my other friend who is a co-DM for me who was planning on starting his campaign soon, but now they are not allowed to be around each other anymore  -.-

all the creativity i expressed in my campaign is now left for waste, we don't want to play without the one dude, and plus, i've been trying to co-DM his campaign, so this really kicks me hard...
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Dragonforce - Scars of Yesterday
  • Playing: Tibia

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:iconlisianaria:
Lisianaria Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: nya ~ > w <
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:iconnzslice:
nzslice Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Student General Artist
Cheers for the Fave! Princess Luna Like a boss Emoticon 
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:iconlisianaria:
Lisianaria Featured By Owner May 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: ~ 0 w 0
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner May 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome ^ . ^ have a good day, meow~ <3 you are a super cutie by the way, but you already know this  xD
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:iconlisianaria:
Lisianaria Featured By Owner May 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you ^^"
Have a good day you too nya ~
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:iconlisianaria:
Lisianaria Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch nya ~ > w <
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
well of course, you are quite cute, nyan~  ^w^  kawaii desu ka!
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:iconcorinne15999:
corinne15999 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Student Filmographer
Thanks for the fave :)
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh yeah, i guess i forgot to comment, heh, you took that picture of the Grell cosplay?  it was cool  :)
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:iconcorinne15999:
corinne15999 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student Filmographer
Thank you :)
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