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About Literature / Hobbyist Member JeremyMale/United States Group :iconhammerfallband: HammerFallBand
Hail Hammerfall!
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a moment within your gaze
warms me like the sun's rays
but just as i enter euphoria
reality attacks from the shadows

only a second i am pacified
afterwards i feel like i've died
only to be brought back again
to endure this insidious plot

chain me to the hardest rock
tearing me apart limb from limb
dying inside over and over
suffering a fate so grim

i have seen better days
your light slowly decays
the warmth i felt lingers
but only exists to taunt me

drown me in the deepest sea
let me find peace with the fishes
crush me and leave me rusted
along with all of my wishes

classic case of looks that kill
killing me without even trying
i won't let you witness my pain
you'll never know how much i'm dying

i wish you could be mine
but my fate is set in stone
i'm left to pine and whine
and be forever alone
Languishing By Louvste
there was supposed to be question marks in the title but dA is weird about that O.o
the title is supposed to be a bit dramatic (it's the words love and lust put inside of each other), i just couldn't think of a better name, i know that what i've been struggling with isn't real love, it's more of a strange sense of lust and jealousy in some ways.  have you ever met someone that makes you smile just by their smile, but deep down knowing you can never have them or even date them?  :(
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he was a liar and a thief
a liar and a thief

your last lie
was that you would overcome
the obstacles through thick and thin
you wanted to excel and win
if one is weak then it becomes stronger
for some perhaps it just takes longer
but you turned your back on that path
running towards the gates of oblivion

a liar and a thief

the last thing you stole
was the keys to the exit
as you ran to the otherworld
passing the barrier of life
without even looking back
at the damage you would cause
now everything is lost
you ran through the gates of oblivion

he was a liar and a thief
he said strength was his belief
the war machine crafted for him
was not enough to conquer
he was a liar and a thief
desperately seeking relief
he did what he wilt
but his star shone bleak
he was a liar and a thief
to escape his own grief
he ran off the path of true will
to meet his fate in oblivion
he was a liar and a thief
his time here with us was brief
now all we have left is dead weight
he crossed through oblivion's gate

he is gone.
Sometimes The Brightest Stars Burn Out Fastest
this is a long overdue write, dedicated to my nephew LCpl Jeremiah Giggles Collins, who had committed suicide oct 5th in 2013.  it was a big shock to me, considering how much he would berate me and say that i was weak, and he was strong, and that the weak must become strong, blah blah blah, he was a Thelemite.  he was into Egyptian mythology to a certain degree and looked up to Aleister Crowley.  he was a fun person, when he was not lying, stealing, or just being an asshole in general, and it was mostly just to me he was an asshole too  :p  but i still miss him, he was cool, and he touched many lives and had many good friends.
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of my most fatal flaws
i'm intolerant to rejection
i yearn to be loved
and i'd settle to be hated

whether by accident or with intent
i abhor being ignored
and the irritation of being forgotten

i'm fading in your memories
spite me with stentorian silence
attempts to call out to you fail
and my cries are disregarded

how long must i wait for reply?
no answers given nor goodbye

whether by accident or with intent
i abhor being ignored
and the irritation of being forgotten

i just can't let go
of wanting acknowledgement
my impatience grows
like a cancer slowly killing me from within
i just can't let go
agony filled with each passing moment
only time will know
if there'll be an end to this shism
Silence So Loud It Deafens Me
i wrote this to express how much i hate A: being ignored and/or "blocked", B: forgotten about and/or flaked out on, and C: feeling rejected in general.  the inspiration for this is varied, so unlike some of my really straight forward things i've written in the past, i made this one a bit mixed sourced, which i noticed a lot of writers do, but i tend to avoid doing since i am OCD about writing.
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deviantID

Xeronik
Jeremy
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
time to revamp my bio again...

i'm big into music, i try to write lyrics from time to time, i keep my collection of which on this site. i play guitar and have been trying to compose music to go with my many lyrics, but my lyrics greatly outnumber my compositions. i'm mostly into subgenres of rock, metal, and punk, but i find i can like at least one band from almost any style. i'm not on this site very often anymore, but i still come on once in a while for different reasons, like posting something new, or looking for cool art or cosplay. that's about it i suppose.
Interests

Journal History

the only things that inspire me to write are either satires of things, or my unending misery or moments of impulsive anger, and with this in mind, i feel like i lost the will to even writing anymore, i'm a broken record, and hell, i've even used that as a theme for my writing as well, so what's left?  when i am a person with no new progress in life to write poems or lyrics about, and i don't feel fueled to write about extroverted topics...

i mean, i could write everyday of how i'm a human waste, that i'm a leech on society and my friends and family, that i'm lazy and lack drive and seems like i'm only existing because i don't want to not exist, otherwise i have no point in living really, but due to stubbornness, i continue each day out in habit...

my fantasies of being a renown musician is pretty much as much of a struggling idea as a turtle wanting to be an olympic runner, it's been almost a decade since i owned a guitar, and i only composed one instrumental track, and i only have a handful of other riffs figured out, and plus i've written so many lyrics impulsively about specific situations, i can't even stand looking at most of them anymore, they are mere staples of a period of time for me, i can't use them for music...

this is all very difficult, and above all things, my past delusions of "soul-mates" pretty much died a couple years ago, even so, i feel that emptiness is still there, i hate seeing other couples, i try to be happy for them, but my deep hidden envy hates it, it's selfish, but i can't help this feeling, and yet, as much as i hate seeing it, i have to see it, i have to see others happy, i have to see those couples do well, i become vicarious, so as much as i am jealous or envious, i know that they deserve the love they share, and i will just be an empty shell trying to enjoy something i'll never have, through the souls of others...

~sigh~ i miss having creativity, i was a Dungeon Master/Game Master for a Pathfinder campaign i improvised off of Rhapsody Of Fire's Enchanted Lands, but that all went to hell when one of my players got caught smoking weed by his parents, which the blame was wrongfully put on my other friend who is a co-DM for me who was planning on starting his campaign soon, but now they are not allowed to be around each other anymore  -.-

all the creativity i expressed in my campaign is now left for waste, we don't want to play without the one dude, and plus, i've been trying to co-DM his campaign, so this really kicks me hard...
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Dragonforce - Scars of Yesterday
  • Playing: Tibia

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:iconlisianaria:
Lisianaria Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch nya ~ > w <
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
well of course, you are quite cute, nyan~  ^w^  kawaii desu ka!
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:iconcorinne15999:
corinne15999 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Student Filmographer
Thanks for the fave :)
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh yeah, i guess i forgot to comment, heh, you took that picture of the Grell cosplay?  it was cool  :)
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:iconcorinne15999:
corinne15999 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student Filmographer
Thank you :)
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:iconstrxbe:
strxbe Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for all the comments ahaha x'D
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i sorta just logged off of WoW and though "i should look at the gallery a bit before i forget to" xD
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:icontfcreate:
tfcreate Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave.
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:iconpheradona:
Pheradona Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012
I saw you Love HammerFall me 2!!! :love:
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:iconxeronik:
Xeronik Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yays, hello there fellow Templar of Steel :D
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